Vacations and dream trips often take up residence in the highlight reels of our lives. We spend months and sometimes years looking forward to them and don’t we love the opportunity to explore new places together? As different people, though, we also take an interest in different things. Should people then plan some solo time while on a trip to explore personal interests that might not be what their significant others are interested in?
I’m the trip planner and activity organizer in our house and try to include activities I think my husband would enjoy, but where I like shopping, I know he hates it. Where my husband loves a long bike ride, I only have enough stamina for about 10 miles but he would easily prefer to go 30. When on cruises, my husband likes eating breakfast in the dining room in group seating and I don’t. It’s morning and I don’t want to sit next to strangers and chit chat before I even have coffee. Should we just compromise? Most of the time that’s a yes.
After 27 years of marriage and A LOT of compromises (mostly on my husband’s part, I must say), lately, I’ve been trying to put forth an alternative: “you ride your ride, and I’ll ride mine. It’s okay if they’re different because we’re different.”
As individuals, we have distinctive preferences, and maybe they are meant to be enjoyed as individuals. A few separate pursuits can easily be managed on one trip together, can they not?
Solo time can be as simple as an hour apart in a theme park to linger a little longer in places of interest or to go eat what your partner might not enjoy or has to avoid due to allergies. It can also easily be a little time away enjoying separate activities or tours. My husband’s not a big fan of napkin rolling, but I thought it was fun on our last cruise. Obviously you should be considerate and plan ahead though, I don’t suggest just waking up and saying ‘see ya at dinner, today’s my solo day!’
The majority of life is a compromise, that is what life is like together as a couple and a small price we pay to love and be loved. But it’s also healthy to plan mutual time apart to do things our partners either can’t do or aren’t interested much in doing, especially on a trip to a place you may never get to see again. Make memories together and on your own time too. Plan some alone time into your next adventure and pursue some of your unique interests, then bring back your stories to share over dinner.
I think independent time is time well spent. My husband thinks this idea is a trap, LOL. What do you think?